Dear myself in 2023,
Hello. I wonder how you’ve been. Did you survive till this day where you again would see this letter? Because if you didn’t, I just wasted 3 hours of my precious life planning and writing this letter. Life is so full of the unexpected, and it is this unexpected that composed history. Ourstory.
I guess I can’t really give you any advice, because you’re older and more mature, and you know me so well that you already memorized all the advices that you gave yourself. Even though sometimes you don’t follow it. But I do have some wishes as well as recommendations for you. I do wish that you could keep participating in politics, even if what you believe doesn’t have the support of almost all the other people. Don’t give up on learning history and philosophy, they may be tricky at times. Another thing I wish you would do is to explore the wild more, maybe you’ll even find another nest of birds like you did in the Spring of 2018. Enjoy the beauty of the wild and learn about those plants and animals. Do some research and keep on filling in those blank presentations of the species of living things. Another very important thing is logic. Your dad has said this several times in your life already, “A woman without logic is very scary,” and what he said is true. You should be more logical, and I’m sure, by your time, at your age, you would’ve known exactly what he meant. Or at least I hope so.
So, how is 《Walking Toward Sunrise》, or is it another name now? Were you able to finish it before graduation? I’m on chapter 5 right now, and I wonder what process you are in. It seems kind of daunting even just to think it getting published before graduation, which you probably won’t. But my goal when I started this “book” (not really a book) in 6th grade is to finish it before highschool ends. And I hope you still remember why you start writing this book. I’ll get really mad if you quit in the middle. The same for piano.
I know you’ll be sad to leave piano behind (especially when Mr.Brown is such a good teacher), but let me remind you that one door closed means more doors opened. Now you can focus even more on your one and only career. As my dad said multiple time, “In our lives, our energy and time are limited, and we cannot do everything. So we have to choose wisely between things that we like to do and prevent learning everything and failing all of them. You have to focus on one thing and be good at it.” To me, piano was always something fun, and I can’t imagine a life without a musical touch. Piano has always been my pride, and something fun. But just like what my father said, I need to choose what’s even more important to me, a thing that is more important to my future.
My image of future for right now is full of sunlight, especially thinking how I’ll succeed and plan my life ahead. But recently I looked at a song called《青春纪》, in there was this sentence, “Admit it, under the same sky, not every flower will bloom.” And I instantly thought about my future. Some people would fail and some succeed, and yes, not every flower would bloom brightly in the same, warm sunshine. And I might be one of the flowers that couldn’t bloom. I’m still confident right now that I’ll have a bright future, but it doesn’t erase the concerns that this world is unexpected. Who knows what’ll happen that would prevent me from “blooming”? So you need to do your best to limit each of the threats that could get you off track. Don’t let yourself blind you.
Last of all, I hope you keep in mind what’s your purpose of life. I hope you live on happily despite the hardships pressuring you. I hope that you have good grade and good manners. I hope you do what I said in my “This I Believe” speech, “As a part of the whole complex human society, just contribute something, something, even just a little, to our human society. To make sure the people around us can have a better life, to make sure the others and your descendants do not face the same hardships as you went through. Face, those, responsibilities.”
Wishes from your Younger Self,
Phillis Wan
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